A very unwelcome visitor

There are times that I hate being right.

Today is one of them.

This afternoon, my period started. I had been cramping all day and knew that it was on it's way. There had been no other signs that it was like the cramping I had experienced last time although, until the bleeding, I still had a secret hope. But it was buried deep, deep, deep. Protecting myself.

Lucky.

I don't know how I feel. Flat, sad, resigned.
But I'm calm. I'm thinking about next time. I'm planning for the between times. And I'm looking forward to a glass of wine tomorrow night for FIL's birthday. And then Friday night at a dinner with friends. And then I start getting back into shape again.

I've already started losing a little bit of weight without even trying. I'm going to get fit again and feel good about myself. This cycle didn't go as well and I can't help wondering if it was my physical state that made the difference. So next time, I'm going to give it the best possible chance again.

I wish I didn't need it. I wish this had been the one. But it's not. And there's nothing I can do about it now.

If the magic formula existed, wouldn't we all be using it?