Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Fundamentally opposed

Yesterday, after the transfer, AdventureBoy and I were sitting in the recovery room (me in the reclining comfy chair and he in the standard hospital room chair - as should be!), both staring into space, lost in our own thoughts.

All I could think about was PCM and why this cycle has progressed so differently. Wondering what chance she would have. Thinking about her speedy growth since Saturday and wondering whether that made her a fighter.

I turned to AB at one point, noticing his reverie, and asked mistily:

What are you thinking about?
(expecting some thoughtful comment on the new chance that we had just been presented with)

My 4pm appointment with Mrs and Mrs Cute Old Couple.
(turning to me earnestly)
Do you think you will be finished with Chinese Cutie Punk by then? I don't want to be late for them and let them down.

And there you have it ... the ingrained and absolutely fundamental difference between us and them. The ability to switch in and out at will. The ability to care but not obsess. The brain in which 'other things' take priority. The 'nothing can be done about it now' attitude. The ability to wait with patience.

I laughed. Are you serious?

Surprise in his eyebrows. Why? What's wrong?

Oh. nothing.

It's just, did he have to start thinking beyond it so soon?


At 3:20 pm, Blogger Pixxiee said...

OMG...I read this out to my hubby and he had the grace to cringe a bit and then said "we can't help it!"...

LOL. Isn't it lucky we have wonderful women and bloggers in our lives who do "get" it?

At 5:00 pm, Blogger Bea said...

This is more or less on a par with Mr Bea's "It just doesn't feel any different to any other failed cycle" comment. (Referring to our first IVF cycle which, after having experienced actual - if subtle - pregnancy symptoms followed by a low positive hCG, went quickly down the drain. Yep, I didn't think it was much different either.)

But it wasn't said maliciously - just honestly.

Damnit, why so practical?


At 5:09 pm, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear StellaNova, oh does that ever sound familiar. I have learned -- the hard way -- not to get my hopes up when I ask M that question in moments of import. Because he's usually thinking about something so trivial I want to kill him. You're right, it's ingrained.

I wish you all the best of luck for PCM. All available digits crossed!

At 9:15 pm, Anonymous Meri-ann said...

Just catching up with where you're at, I'm so glad PCM is on board and may she catch up and surpass all expectations! Good luck!

At 10:41 pm, Anonymous flygirl said...

Fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed for PCM.

I don't know how men do it. I wish that I could get inside their heads for a little bit of time to see how they can not worry and stew and fret and obsess.

At 6:13 am, Blogger Emmie said...

Oh, I feel your frustration! I have learned not to ask H what he is thinking. It is usually so far removed from the enormity of the situation at hand. But men have thier own way of coping, I guess.

At 9:18 am, Blogger Vee said...

Max is the same, he wont even blog about the process side of things. He is afraid of getting his hopes up only to fall miserably. That is the way he copes....not writing about it, even if he does think about it.

At 1:10 pm, Blogger Kris said...

I wish I had H's ability to compartmentalize. On the other hand, I wonder how he would function if he had to multi-task.

I missed yesterday. I hope PCM likes the decoration, too.

At 11:16 pm, Blogger serenity said...

Men. J does the same thing.

I hope this is it for you... much love and stick vibes coming your way from me...

At 1:47 am, Blogger Beagle said...

This post is so TRUE.

Also . . . GOOD LUCK!!!!!

At 12:20 pm, Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

That sounds like something Steve would say.

Good luck! I hope that PCM is making himself nice and cozy.

At 9:21 pm, Blogger Courtney said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending you lots of love and strength. Good luck!

At 1:47 pm, Blogger GZ said...

So, so, so true. So true it makes me wonder if my husband is leading a double life as your husband.

I guess it's a good thing they think like that...Good in a really frusterating sort of way.

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