In which I have to make some choices ...
I sent this email to Dr Challenge last Thursday:
Subject: Not this time ...
Hi Pretty Boy (AKA Dr Challenge - we are on a first-name basis now),
My period started yesterday, so this one is obviously not going to be
the one. I didn't feel very confident about it, with the delayed embryo
and minimal eggs retreived. So, while I'm not surprised, I am still very
disappointed.
My question for today is, what happens now?
I would like to do another cycle, but you were talking of possible
endometriosis to be addressed. I am really not very keen for more
surgery. What do you think is the nature of this endometriosis? Didn't
you say you removed it during the retreival? Is there another
alternative to surgery? Are you sure there actually is endometriosis?
Sorry, a lot of questions there. I just want this to work, and I don't
understand why this cycle was so unsuccessful.
Thanks for considering these - I'll look forward to your reply.
StellaNova
This is his reply:
Dear StellaNova, I'm pretty disappointed as well but mostly for you two.
Endometriosis can come back. We don't always get rid of it all and we do
believe it influences IVF results especially if within an ovary where
the eggs are made.
Can you ring Lovely Secretary and come in to see me about where to go. I don't
want to have another disappointing IVF cycle again if endometriosis has
returned; equally the prospect of more surgery is not attractive.
Perhaps the best thing is a diagnostic laparoscopy, assess what's
happening then make decisions. One middle option is to damp down the
endometriosis with an injection (if we find minimal/mild endo) and then
go straight into an IVF cycle.
Either way we have to do something before another IVF try.
Hang in there, regroup, get some energy back and I'll keep doing the
best I can for you both StellaNova.
Kindest regards,
Pretty Boy
Now, neither option is particularly attractive to me. Especially as he doesn't
actually know what is in there. Even exploratory surgery will require anaesthetic
and time off for the procedure and recovery.
But, from what he seems to be saying, there will be no point trying again until
he has a look. I have an appointment to see him next week, but I haven't really
got a plan of attack. I don't know how to approach this and I haven't done enough
research about it either.
So, for now, I'm still feeling ok about everything, but the immediate future right
now is just a little too grey.
The best way to go has not jumped out at me and revealed itself.
It would just make everything so much easier.
What would you do?
posted by StellaNova @ 9:00 pm
12 comments
12 Comments:
This is just me, but I think I'd have to take a deep breathe, try to relax and enjoy a few things, and then let the doctor have another look inside. There's nothing worse than not knowing what the next step should be. I'm so sorry this is happening to you.
H said the other day that it might have been easier just to have been told, "there's nothing at all that you can do," rather than getting all these MIGHT work options. I don't know if I agree with him, but I do understand where he's coming from. Black and white is so much easier to deal with than grey.
I think I would go with the diagnostic - but that is just me. I agree that neither option sounds like fun. Your Dr. sounds great. Let us know what you decide to do!
I would also go for the diagnostic. I'd rather know what's going on, and the zoladex seems like a good treatment - I've had no recurrence of endo (that we can see) since feb. Although the anaesthetics make me feel crappy, it only takes a couple of days for me to recover - it might be different for you from your experience - so the thought of an operation doesn't upset me too much.
But you need to do what's best for you. take a deep breath and give yourself a few days to think it through.
Tough call, but I think I'd do the diagnostic lap. I'm one that believes in covering bases, dotting i's and crossing t's blah, blah, blah. I just never wanted to play the "what if" game when everything was over.
I wish there was a clear road or answer, but with IF there never is. I'm sorry you're faced with this perplexing choice and I wish you all the best.
I think it will all be a little clearer after your appointment. There's no way you can make a decision with only that little snippet of information. Well, I couldn't.
For what it's worth, my latest approach is to give my FS an ordered list of my priorities/concerns and leave the actual clinical decisions up to him, with my list taken into account.
Bea
Grey sucks. I'd go for the lap... but then I'm starting to think I'm addicted to surgery- if I'm not having a procedure a couple of times a year I don't know what to do with myself.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I would march on in and see him with a big long list of questions and options, give him a copy and go through each point painstakingly. Actually I have done this more than once with WonderDoc, and although he cringes when he sees me coming I like having control of my own cycles and treatment. A diagnostic lap would probably be the most thorough course of action, and whilst it is minor surgery it's going to give him the best idea of what's going on in your bits.
Hope this helps, and good luck with whatever you decide!
Wow, that one is tough. I would probably say go for the laprascopy. It's not so bad. Then you will at least have a few answers. However, don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. You know your own body. Good luck!
Dear StellaNova, that is a toughie. I'd hate to have a laparoscopy just to see if possibly maybe something has come back, but on the other hand I'd hate to go ahead with another IVF with that thought at the back of my mind.
This may seem like a stupid question (probably because it is) but can't they give you the Zoladex without looking in first? Or does it have awful effects if there is no endo to speak of?
Stell - Immediately? I would "regroup" like the doctor says. Sit on it until I "knew" what was the next step.
Sending you love.
That is a hard one. I think that I would go for the diagnostic lap. At least you will know what is going on in your body going into your next cycle.
I hope that you are able to come to a decision that works well for you. Hugs.
Hi Stella! Coming WAY late to the conversation with my two cents' worth: I tend to agree with the others about taking a few deep breaths to regroup, but then ultimately going for the lap. As much as I hate "procedures," especially those involving anesthesia, I'd want to know what's going on in there before making any further decisions. Whatever you decide, though, just think about what will give YOU the most peace of mind--and then go for it.
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