Thursday, March 08, 2007

We have a heartbeat!

I didn't realise I had been holding my breath for months until I released it today.

The scan operator was one of the lovely ones I have had before who also went to school with a friend of mine. As soon as she inserted the probe she smiled and said 'there it is'.

At first I couldn't make out what it was that she could see and then she zoomed in on it and there it was - a bean shaped smudge with a tiny white dot pulsating in the middle of it at 130bpm. And then I couldn't see it any more for the tears blurring my vision. I couldn't even look at AB because I was only just holding it together (pathetic, I know!).

So we are measuring today 6w4d (which is exactly what the IVF nurse told me I would be today). 28th October - I hope a happy date for my future - I have passed so many other dates which have become memorials to be sad about.

So thank you all for your thoughts and comments. I know it is still not over yet and I will continue to stress about all sorts of other things now ... but hurdle number 2 has been passed.

And now, I think I need a bath.


At 12:20 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great news, Stella! I hope it is just the start of all the good things to happen.

At 4:44 am, Blogger Flygirl said...

Just catching up! This is wonderful news. I understand your reluctance to hope and believe.

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

At 8:27 am, Blogger Vee said...

Great news !

All the best.

At 9:27 am, Blogger Twisted Ovaries said...

Congratulations! Looks like we're on the exact same cycle-I'm also at the same times, and my first scan is next Tuesday. I'm very happy for yoy.

At 11:05 am, Blogger Emmie said...

Congrats, Stella! So good to hear from you, and such good news at that. It's still a long, nerve-wracking journey, but a better one than before.

At 11:44 am, Blogger Jules said...


I wondered where you had got to. Sending you sticky vibes.

At 12:16 pm, Blogger Hopeful Mother said...

I am THRILLED for you, Stella. Fabulous news!

At 1:57 pm, Anonymous star cycle said...

The other day I was walking out of a store and a guy who appeared to be homeless stepped up to me and asked if I could spare some change. I gave him a few dollars and struck up a conversation with him. I thought I would share some positive information with him and do you know what? He got offensive and told me to leave him alone. He said he LIKED his life just the way it was and walked away from me—angry. (He did take the money though.) I thought that was a bit strange—not that he took the money but, how could he like a life where whether or not he ate depended on whether or not someone else gave him a few dollars. But, hey, as my mother use to say, "to each his own". Personally, I don't believe he likes his life. I do believe that HE believes that there is nothing he could do about it and he has lived that way for so long that he simply has adapted to the life style and sees it as normal. All of his friends are probably in the same situation that he is in and they too have adapted and accepted it as a way of life.

At 8:45 pm, Blogger Bea said...

For some reason bloglines didn't tell me you'd posted.

Nice going on the heartbeat.


At 1:59 am, Blogger Thalia said...

Utterly fantastic news, I'm so very pleased for you!

At 3:07 am, Anonymous Meg said...

Wondeful news, Stella! xx

At 3:10 am, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Stella, I'm so thrilled to hear that!

At 10:44 am, Anonymous Lassie said...

Well Done!
So glad you are able to breathe again, make them nice deep breaths, remember, you're sharing everything now!


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